Wednesday, November 30, 2005

i dunno wat to put for the title...hehe

sorry guys for not blogging for quite a while. stupid computer down already...haih. anyway....i'm in singapore now, since i have nth to do but wait, so drop by to write a blog...hehe! sad man cannot go leadership camp, but get to go australia, good deal huh? haha....so pei jie, how r u? sorry la couldn't chat with u long in the afternoon. i still have one hour more before i departure to perth. what more can i say? wanted to go online but no messenger here, too bad la. ok, take care everyone! to those who r going for leadership camp, have fun, enjoy urself. as to those who r not, just enjoy everyday k? haha!

PS: chea hwey, if ur reading this, plz help me to wish jeat yeing a very happy burfday on the 2nd of dec.( sorry if i spell her name wrongly, i still get confused on how to spell her name).

Monday, November 21, 2005

surprise...

thanks miss winnie, for ur concern...really didnt expect a call from u, but i'm fine now...so to "the whole world" dont need to worry bout me k....keep in touch! bye....

~[c][o][w]~

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Thinking...

First of all, to those who were bored so drop by to read my blog and saw no updates, i apologize for that, wasn't really in a mood of typing, WANTED TO, but felt tired to even press the keys....:D. Anyway, Whats the latest news??!!! HARRY POTTER!!! Yes, i luv it! the movie was awesome, to me la...so say it sux! but to me, it was cool...! And i think i'm going to watch it again, chen lam was asking if i wanna go or not, suba wanna watch...haha, i'll see how, financial not so good, hehe...got to save! So for the pass 5 days, wat had been going on? the truth is, i don't remember, maybe some la...i remember going for harry potter with pig and zebra then went shopping, then went to zebra's hse, and her DOGS freaked me out!!! then went home, it was pouring...*sob sob* haih....wat else happen? i eat, sleep, play the com almost the whole day, read n shit! haha.....forgive me if i'm going a bit kuku in the head =) but thats me isn't it? I had a wonderful dinner yesterday with daddy and his friends, uncle david's daughter is a psychiatrist! yea, something that i wanna be, n brian was so cute!! his only 3years old i think but his damm cute n smart! his just like every kid, couldn't sit still, hyperactive! haha.....then went back home, just in time for football...haha! Man U vs Charlton, 3-1! haha, sad case was, just as i went to the kitchen, Van Nistelrooy score! and i missed it...grrr!! then slept at 2am....sick in the head, hahaha!! ok...thats it for the last 5 days i think....

I have been thinking......
Life is short, why make myself miserable?
Life is fun if u make it fun, right?

I have been thinking......
If I can let things go, maybe i won't be thinking so much.....and that sux!
If i don't care bout things as much as i do last time, then wats the point of living right?

I have been thinking.......
If i would just listen, maybe things will turn out better....
Life is never easy as i always say! nothing in life is free, u got to work hard for it.....

*i'm just crapping*.....

~[everything is gonna change now isn't it?]~

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I blame no one...

*i'll continue my patrol camp story later if i got the mood la. *

why won't i wake up??!!! I mean FULLY wake up! i may lie to everyone in the world but can never lie to myself, i know that but why wont i face it? why wont my heart follow what i wanna do? why cant i just do what i promise? most of the time i fulfill the promise i made to my friends, but why cant i fulfill my promise to my dad n also to myself? this is not making any sense!!!!! to me, i'm a failure compare to others, sometimes i wonder how good is it if i can turn back time? how good if my sister is here? no matter how close ur friends are, they are still not as close as ur family, i always blame God for taking her away, but sometimes i think its a good things she left...at least she dont have to go thru pain. ppl may have what i dont, and i may have wat ppl dont...god is fair actually, just that life isn't! time can never return, and we can never chase it back. if u ask me wat good things have i done for the pass 10years, i can never answer that question, cuz i dont know....i'm always lost in the maze and can't find the way out...y? cuz i never wanna call out for help! i always tell ppl to live positive, so do i! but eventhough u dont wanna face it, its there, just right ahead...it just take u time to feel the effect. n by the time u feel it, its too late to change anything already. but life goes on, so why not live the happy way? and i always do, just that once in a while u'll breakdown n need time to stand again!

To aaron, if u just checkout the blog n saw this, read but dont follow, always follow the god not the bad, i know u can do it!

Welcome to my LIFE!


Video code provided by Music Video Codes

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong,
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud,
But no one hears you screamin?

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like...
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more,
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like...
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabs you in the back
You might think I'm happy, but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work, it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like...

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like...
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Patrol camp....

At last, i'm home after 3days of camp, actually its a 4days 3nite camp but i went on the second day because of the painting in skul, our so called "Project"...but consider lucky too cuz i didnt go on the first day, the camp was suppose to be held in Commomwealth Park, but because of some techical problem, they didnt book the area so they didnt get to camp there, instead they change the place to templer park. not really sure wat happen on the first day but according to deepa, it was a mess, the juniors took very long time to get all the things up to the campside, that was the biggest problem, cuz soon after that it started to rain heavily and everything was still not finish, and somehow i heard wrongly that she was lost, so i told jolyne the wrong info n she told wan pin the wrong info too...haha! actually she was just stuck there for 4 hours thats all, n after that Theo came to the rescue...lolz, that was so funny when deepa called me n told me about it...but i was relief when i know that she was save, but all of them felt so cold due to the rain. another bad news was deepa telling me that they spoiled the 8 men tent :'( and some of the equipment got wet because of the rain....haiz!

Second day, jolyne came n pick me up around 7.15 after picking up ale....we went to skul to pick up aaron and wan pin too, not forgetting to take some things from the QM room. after that the 5 of us got to cramp into jolyne's dad CRV...lol. once we reach templer, we started our journey to "SAVE" deepa, the whole nite all i could think of was deepa n kar mun, wondering whether they are fine or not. After walking for almost an hour, finally we reached the campside, deepa was in tears when she saw us. Mun Yi and Kuan Li went back home already cuz they are not allowed to stay in templer park, and avin going back too, and kar mun WAS suppose to go back cuz she couldn't take it anymore but after that she say she's not going back already. and they said that they saw wildboar at nite, it was so funny when julian told us that they were holding the parang just in case, haha...then we shift the campside to the waterfall area, as the VI are leaving on the same day. i saw the QM equipment, they lost both the 'batu asah', one axe, two hammer and parangs was rusted, hurt me so badly to see my equipment being injured...haih! siew hong and i got lots to do once we clean the equipments. but we were lucky, avin found one on the way going home, n pass it to wan pin. the juniors didnt do much on the same day, dont really remember wat they did, i think only chop bamboo, then had their food....oh ya! i remember now, deepa was so cold till she cant move her whole body, smtg like wat happen to nicole yong, then the juniors had meeting in the nite, while the rest have all gone to sleep. there were only 4 committe member so they did 2 night shift,3 hours each, so jolyne n i decided to stay up with them if we can la....n we did, it was raining heavily at nite too, n the QM tent was flooded, haih.... by 6, the both of us couldn't open our eyes anymore so we went n sleep,only for 2hours....wth! haih....then kar mun and ale was going back with peng wai, jia wei and soon seng. after they left, simon got to go to rawang to buy his chicken n stuff we bought everything but the kero.....then we became like theo, deepa and ale...went to the whole rawang to find kerosin! aiyo...and till the last shop we found kero, then took the bus back to templer, but we got on the wrong bus, damm, but luckily we didnt go far we took another bus back to rawang n change bus back to templer. took us an hour to reach the campside, my finger was hurting me so badly...then wan pin, siew hong and chen lam was there already...guess wat, siew hong can cook! haha.....n to be continue, i'm tired already....hehe!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Why is it so hard to understand?

Come on! is it really that hard to get watever i have said in the past? the end is the end....., go on with life, dont stay on with that hope, it will never come or return. I'm happy cuz there is someone who luv me this much but its not worth it....seriously! But i had make myself clear, now i dont wanna think about relationships just wanna do well in studies thats all.....after all i've said, suddenly its seems to be like it was just a waste of time telling! why won't he get it? i truly understand how Jo feels last time already, n i thought it was just a piece of cake.....sorry Jo! Ahhhh!!

:: Bz week, we were in skool almost the whole day, i mean skool hours la. Reach skool at 7am(sleepy) =) haha, but wat to do....juniors needed to do their checklist.....n that lazy siew hong dont wanna wake up! sleep n sleep at home! then did all the arranging stuff in the canteen, kinda dumb right? where in the world will someone wanna make the celebration in the canteen? And also Pn Fauziah and Cik Sukania's retirement, we got to move all the canteen tables front n back....just to make things right. some more they do it in the no fan area, hot like hell!! after everything, we went down to the den....then wat happen? oh, mun yi and jason was teasing each other, haha.....then alia said, u noe wat? ppl who always quarrel with each other, sooner or later one day the both of them will be come close fren..haha, next thing u know....jolyne is laughing non-stop there, then she said, like deepa n hyena.....haha! true right? then when jolyne n i was in the coh, i was looking thru the dictionary for our campfire theme, jolyne was doing her 'SCPL' work, n we were listening to chen lam's Ipod....then the ipod played "heaven knows" by rick price....i didnt realise anything bout the song's words until jolyne started laughing when we were listening to it....only i realise the lyrics was kinda like wat i'm going thru now....n oso cl la....then i told jolyne, thanks to u, i dont like this song anymore! then when the celebration began, we join in...but nth much la....another bz day 2moro, to me...its call donkeys job...no offence but it is!! so many other ppl dont call y call us to paint the walls.....haih! better stay home n sleep! no....! go patrol camp =) but anyway...going on the 10th, coming back on the 12th...then as for 13
, i dunno wat to do......khareeza's burfday is on the 14, hua wen's one on the 13 =) should i go on the 14? actually i dont feel like going, but....as a fren, i wanna go....but i cant be going out all the time, 17 going out already....wth! i have to control all my activities....or else thats it! and i'm broke! hahaha....so how to go out? thats it la......need to wake up early AGAIN 2moro!! aiyo.....i wanna SLEEP LA!!!! *sob sob*...haha!

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Why?

haih.....damm tired, just came back not long from 1u, before that was swimming in the club hse. long time didnt go for swimming, its just feel great! but kena sunburn, haihz!! y do i alwasy get sunburn!! grrr....!! Actually i was suppose to go to Terengganu with dad, but then in the afternoon he ffk me. He said his going by plane, going n coming back in the same day so there is no point of me going unless we go by car....when i was in 1U, wish i would bang on someone that i know, but guess wat, 1U is so big and all i found is Vanessa......haha! just nice at that time i was on the phone with chen lam...lol. ok, happy storys are over now sad story, actually it hasn't started, but i can feel that its not gonna be any good. just 20min ago, my cousin call, and was asking me for my uncle's number, she didnt seem friendly on the phone, and she scream at me on the phone....that was REALLY freaky! never ever heard her screaming like that on the phone before....then after like 30sec, her bro called, and said, watver my sis ask or say, dont tell anyone.. as for the rest, its only for me to know.....not for any of u to know......why must most of us in the family go thru the same thing? why can ppl live peacefully with each other? conclusion, everyone is one of a kind! I always wish watever i go thru others dont have too....eventhough sometimes i wish they do, but deep down in my heart, i luv them n dont wanna see them get hurt.....

why?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Yeah!!!!

Yeah!!! I just can't stop thinking of it...was talking to mom this afternoon, so we were talking, as usual...nth much! And she was thinking whether to come back this month or during chinese new year, n then she said, i'll buy u an ipod k? i was shock for 5 sec.....i was like r u serious? n she said, yea....its really popular here, then i said, how do u noe which one i one, since there is so many kind right? then she said, of cos my daughter want the best one la.....haha, that was true, n surprisingly she's willing to spend thousand over dollars just for an IPOD! but who cares, the main point is i get an ipod right? haha.....n she said, take it as ur burfday gift k....WOH!!!!!!! I'm just too happy till i cant say anything! wat else happen today?? hmm... as usual, stuck in the hse! wanted to go out but today just ain't the right day, Deepa spent her day, staying home, EATING and EATING!! Kar Mun? Having fun in IKEA, then THE CURVE....saying bout the curve, remind me bout that 3 cows...haha! yup, and oso the pig and the zebra...as for the rest...working! haih....all i do at home is, eat, sleep, shit, study, play n dream! its just one week of holiday and i miss everyone already...imagine wat will happen in the next few weeks? I'll be going NUTS!!anyway, nth much happen today la...not going mv with nic nic, ale and ee may they all 2moro, i'll be going 1U, go be nerd....hahaha, going to MPH to get a book....cant imagine myself being a nerd...maybe i should just try.....hahahaha...