I blame no one...

*i'll continue my patrol camp story later if i got the mood la. *

why won't i wake up??!!! I mean FULLY wake up! i may lie to everyone in the world but can never lie to myself, i know that but why wont i face it? why wont my heart follow what i wanna do? why cant i just do what i promise? most of the time i fulfill the promise i made to my friends, but why cant i fulfill my promise to my dad n also to myself? this is not making any sense!!!!! to me, i'm a failure compare to others, sometimes i wonder how good is it if i can turn back time? how good if my sister is here? no matter how close ur friends are, they are still not as close as ur family, i always blame God for taking her away, but sometimes i think its a good things she left...at least she dont have to go thru pain. ppl may have what i dont, and i may have wat ppl dont...god is fair actually, just that life isn't! time can never return, and we can never chase it back. if u ask me wat good things have i done for the pass 10years, i can never answer that question, cuz i dont know....i'm always lost in the maze and can't find the way out...y? cuz i never wanna call out for help! i always tell ppl to live positive, so do i! but eventhough u dont wanna face it, its there, just right ahead...it just take u time to feel the effect. n by the time u feel it, its too late to change anything already. but life goes on, so why not live the happy way? and i always do, just that once in a while u'll breakdown n need time to stand again!

To aaron, if u just checkout the blog n saw this, read but dont follow, always follow the god not the bad, i know u can do it!